Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Engineering view of Santa Claus
In the world there are approximately 2 billion children (persons under 18). However, since Santa Claus does not visit Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist, the amount of work for the new year is reduced to 15 %, or a total of 378 million children (according to the Population Reference Bureau). According to an average of 3.5 children per house, Santa Claus has to visit 108 million homes, if we assume that in any given house there is at least one good child .
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). So Santa Claus has to visit 967.7 houses per second. Thus, for each household with a good child, Santa has around 1/ 1000 second to park the sleigh, hop out, take gifts, jump into the chimney, fill the stockings, find a tree, leave the rest of the presents under the tree, climbed back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (for the purposes of our calculations), we are talking about 1.24 miles per house to another , behind what appears total time of 120.8 million miles, not counting Santa Claus visits to toilet or meal breaks, drinks etc. The above shows that the speed of Santa's sleigh moves at 1080 miles per second (3200 times the speed of sound). For comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, going "only" 45 kilometers per second (162,000 km / h), and normal deer up to 24 km per hour or 0.0066 kilometers per second.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a Lego set of medium size (about 860 grams). Then the total weight of cargo on Santa Clauses sleigh will be over 500 tons. On the ground, a normal reindeer can pull no more than about 138 kg. If we assume that Santa's flying reindeer can pull 10 times, Santa Claus would need around 360 thousand flying deer to pull sleds. Weight of so many deer increases the overall weight of the sled around 54 thousand tons, or about 7 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
About 600 thousand tons traveling at a speed of 1080 km/second creates enormous air resistance, such resistance would heat up the reindeer in the same way as a heats up space craft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second. Short, they would, burst into the living not a pretty sight torch, exposing deer behind them, and leading to a chain reaction in which all the 360 odd thousand deer vaporized within 4.26 thousands second, or right about the time to Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Santa Claus, as a result of acceleration from 0 km/h to 1080 km/h, would be exposed to acceleration power of 17.5 thousand times greater than that of a small g, ie. 175000 m/s². Santa Claus mass of 115 kg (which is very small for Santa Claus ) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 1,984,906.9 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a pulpy purple, reddish liquid.
Therefore, if Santa ever existed, he is now surely dead.
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). So Santa Claus has to visit 967.7 houses per second. Thus, for each household with a good child, Santa has around 1/ 1000 second to park the sleigh, hop out, take gifts, jump into the chimney, fill the stockings, find a tree, leave the rest of the presents under the tree, climbed back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (for the purposes of our calculations), we are talking about 1.24 miles per house to another , behind what appears total time of 120.8 million miles, not counting Santa Claus visits to toilet or meal breaks, drinks etc. The above shows that the speed of Santa's sleigh moves at 1080 miles per second (3200 times the speed of sound). For comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, going "only" 45 kilometers per second (162,000 km / h), and normal deer up to 24 km per hour or 0.0066 kilometers per second.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a Lego set of medium size (about 860 grams). Then the total weight of cargo on Santa Clauses sleigh will be over 500 tons. On the ground, a normal reindeer can pull no more than about 138 kg. If we assume that Santa's flying reindeer can pull 10 times, Santa Claus would need around 360 thousand flying deer to pull sleds. Weight of so many deer increases the overall weight of the sled around 54 thousand tons, or about 7 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
About 600 thousand tons traveling at a speed of 1080 km/second creates enormous air resistance, such resistance would heat up the reindeer in the same way as a heats up space craft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second. Short, they would, burst into the living not a pretty sight torch, exposing deer behind them, and leading to a chain reaction in which all the 360 odd thousand deer vaporized within 4.26 thousands second, or right about the time to Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Santa Claus, as a result of acceleration from 0 km/h to 1080 km/h, would be exposed to acceleration power of 17.5 thousand times greater than that of a small g, ie. 175000 m/s². Santa Claus mass of 115 kg (which is very small for Santa Claus ) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 1,984,906.9 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a pulpy purple, reddish liquid.
Therefore, if Santa ever existed, he is now surely dead.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Dumb fuckers
There's nothing to mourn about death any more than there is to mourn about the growing of a flower. What is terrible is not death but the lives people live or don't live up until their death. They don't honor their own lives, they piss on their lives. They shit them away. Dumb fuckers. They concentrate too much on fucking, movies, money, family, fucking. Their minds are full of cotton. They swallow God without thinking, they swallow country without thinking. Soon they forget how to think, they let others think for them. Their brains are stuffed with cotton. They look ugly, they talk ugly, they walk ugly. Play them the great music of the centuries and they can't hear it. Most people's deaths are a sham. There's nothing left to die.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
God & The Noble Man Bullshit
Good evening. Today is Wednesday, September the 24th, and this is my last broadcast. Yesterday I announced on this program that I was going to commit public suicide, admittedly an act of madness. Well, I'll tell you what happened: I just ran out of bullshit. Am I still on the air? I really don't know any other way to say it other than I just ran out of bullshit. Bullshit is all the reasons we give for living. And if we can't think up any reasons of our own, we always have the God bullshit. We don't know why we're going through all this pointless pain, humiliation, decays, so there better be someone somewhere who does know. That's the God bullshit. And then, there's the noble man bullshit; that man is a noble creature that can order his own world; who needs God? Well, if there's anybody out there that can look around this demented slaughterhouse of a world we live in and tell me that man is a noble creature, believe me: That man is full of bullshit. I don't have anything going for me. I haven't got any kids. And I was married for thirty-three years of shrill, shrieking fraud. So I don't have any bullshit left. I just ran out of it, you see.
Network 1976
Network 1976
Network 1976
I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.' Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, God damn it! My life has VALUE!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!' I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!... You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"
Saturday, October 5, 2013
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